Parshas Yisro 5781
In recent years, we’ve seen the rise of a new kind of celebrity: the Influencer. These are people who, though social media channels enabling them to reach tens of millions of people at a time, are capable of driving trends in music, fashion, and food, simply by sharing their opinion. Oftentimes, influencers are individuals who are not celebrities as a result of displaying talent that has traditionally been valued by society, but are simply famous for being famous. It is a captivating phenomenon that a “regular person” could potentially wield such enormous influence.
But there is a flip-side to this reality, too. Yes, it is remarkable how easily people can influence, but it is even more striking how easily people can be influenced. From things as innocuous as the clothing we wear to as significant as the values we hold, we are swayed to do and believe things by the people around us. Keeping values and keeping company are bound up with one another.
Perhaps this was Yisro’s consideration in meeting up with the Jewish People.
וישמע יתרו. מַה שְּׁמוּעָה שָׁמַע וּבָא? קְרִיעַת יַם סוּף וּמִלְחֶמֶת עֲמָלֵק.
רש׳׳י שמות יח:א
And Yisro heard. What did he hear that he came [to join Israel]? The Splitting of the Red Sea and the war with Amalek.
Rashi Shemos 18:1
Yisro is motivated by two episodes: The Splitting of the Sea, and the war with Amalek. The former makes a whole lot of sense. A supernatural spectacle that surpassed even the most miraculous of all the Ten Plagues is understandably something that would turn heads. But what of the war with Amalek? Was a military victory over a band of nomads much to be impressed by following an event as remarkable as Krias Yam Suf? What about this battle piqued Yisro’s interest in Judaism enough to journey out into the wilderness to meet up with them?
Rav Yechiel Mordechai Gorden suggests that that what motivated Yisro about the war with Amalek, was not the salvation from that attack, but the attack itself. The Jewish People had just emerged on the opposite side of the Red Sea, having been miraculously saved from their Egyptian oppressors. What more could G-d do to demonstrate his care and concern for the Jewish People and His interest in seeing them safe and unharmed? Following these events, how could any nation bring itself to attack Israel?
The answer, simply, is human nature. People maintain the remarkable propensity to revert back to equilibrium, remaining unfazed now matter how impactful a bit of inspiration felt at the time. A lecture, a video, or moving experience may leave a person feeling that their life is forever changed—that surely they’re now well on their way to losing that weight, kicking that habit, or developing that long elusive middah—and yet are right back to their old ways just a short while later.
This is what Yisro saw in Amalek and it scared him. If a people could witness a clear demonstration of Hashem’s salvation and just a short while later besiege the very people who had just been demonstrated to be under G-d’s protection, how do I avoid that human weakness?
Yisro does not simply insist that he will be different. That he’ll maintain the fortitude to live life differently now that G-d has revealed Himself. Yisro sees Amalek’s folly and recognizes that same capacity within himself. And he does something about it. Yisro journeys to the Jewish camp to join with them. In the hopes of changing himself, he recognizes the importance of changing his surroundings. The enormous gap that exists between Yisro and Amalek will inexorably shrink if he is not surrounded by those whose beliefs are similar to his own. Where better to go than the Jewish camp?
Living the lives we wish to live demands grit and inner fortitude. Even in the best of external environments, we will be plagued by the internal voices that tempt us towards the path of laziness and ease, rather than accomplishment and rigor. But do we consider often enough the role that the externals play? Do we think consciously about surrounding ourselves with friends and colleagues not only with whom we have enjoyable banter and are conveniently located, but with people who are living lives compatible with the ones we want for ourselves?
Being virtuous means maintaining the same practices no matter our surroundings. Being practical means that opting into the right surroundings makes it easier to be virtuous. How many moments of inspiration were extinguished because we didn’t surround ourselves with people who were fanning the flames? How many scrapped goals may have been fulfilled had we sought out the company of those similarly ambitious? How many deep-seated values have slowly eroded because we opted for a peer group of whoever was simply closest and most convenient?
What is remarkable about Yisro is that where others would have seen an excuse to be comfortably mediocre, he took personal responsibility to excel. The company we keep is not an unalterable fact of life, it is something we choose. Yisro recognized this and owned it.
As we consider our surroundings, it’s worth revisiting the strange emergence of online influencers. Their presence is a reminder of how easily we can connect not only with those we wish to influence, but also with those we wish to be influenced by. We can maintain connections with old friends and have our values supported through online groups and communities. Those relationships can be a difference maker not easily compensated for by personal drive and determination alone.
Jim Rohn once stated brilliantly, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” So let’s choose wisely.