Parshas Shemos 5783
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
If I perform an act of chessed, and no one even notices, does it make a difference?
Moshe, despite his reluctance, is instructed by Hashem to go and serve as the liberator of the Jewish People. To the question of how he will convince them that it was indeed G-d who sent him, Hashem provides him with a series of three miracles to perform that will convince the People that his mission is of Divine origin.
One of the miracles is the transformation of Moshe’s hand from a healthy one to one afflicted with tzara’as. Moshe is instructed to perform the act as he stood at the burning bush, to understand fully what would take place when he would do so again in the presence of the people. Moshe brings his hand into the folds of his robes and draws it back out in a state of tzara’as. He then repeats the feat, and the hand has returned back to normal.
But in removing the tzara’as, a small inconsistency appears in the text. The pasuk (4:7) speaks of the flesh returning to normal as it is drawn “from his chest,” a term that does not appear when the hand was first afflicted. Rashi comments that this is significant. The Torah is stating that in returning back to good health, the hand transformed immediately upon being withdrawn. In the first place, when the hand was afflicted, it seems that there was a brief lag. This, says Rashi, informs us of Hashem’s chessed, illustrating His interest in providing health more quickly smiting with illness.
Yet I can’t help but wonder, did Moshe even notice?
How quickly does it take a person to bring his hand to and from his chest? It’s a matter of nanoseconds. And all this while Moshe is experiencing direct revelation, no doubt overcome by the awesome reality of standing on hallowed ground in G-d’s very presence. Was he really checking his watch?
I’d venture that it doesn’t really matter. Because it’s actually not about Moshe. It’s about Hashem.
Moshe may not have noticed the speed with which he was healed relatively to the speed with which he was afflicted. His life may have been completely unchanged by the fact that his tzara’as dissolved more quickly than it appeared. But Hashem isn’t looking to score points with Moshe. He’s not looking to impress Him. He is simply acting from His essence, and that essence is chessed.
The Torah is giving us a peek at the difference between doing chessed and being chessed. When you do chessed, there is a calculation of how much the other person needs this, and, to some degree, how much will they notice this. If they don’t know I’ve done it for them, what difference does it all make?
The difference it makes is in defining who we become as people. Hashem performs chessed because He is chessed. Or put in other words, Hashem performs chessed because He loves. Life is better without tzara’as than with tzara’as. Hashem wants Moshe to be better off as quickly as possible. Not because Moshe will notice. But because Hashem loves Him.
We expect that our kindness will be recognized. Being considerate, after all, demands that you take stock of what someone’s done for you and respond with appreciation. But the next time it doesn’t work out that way, try to keep it from ruffling your feathers. Lean into the experience of having given without it being recognized. There is something about that act of kindness that is actually more pure. That you’ve given out of love rather than for acknowledgment. That you gave because you care about that person, not because you’d hoped that they’d notice. That you didn’t just do chessed, but actually became chessed.