Parshas Tetzaveh 5783
Though the Torah is generally viewed as either a collection of mitzvos, or a chronicle of Jewish History during the time period it details, one would be forgiven for assuming that the sefarim of Shemos, Vayikra, and Bamidbar actually comprise a biography of the life of Moshe Rabbeinu. From the time Moshe is born, no single parsha over the course of these three books omit a reference to the great leader of the Jewish People. Except one. Parshas Tetzaveh.
In explanation, the Baal HaTurim offers what has become a popular, if cryptic explanation. In next week’s parsha, responding to Hashem’s threat that He will destroy the Jewish People as punishment for their construction of the Golden Calf, Moshe says, “ואם אין מחני נא מספרך אשר כתבת—If you do not forgive them, then erase me from the Book You have written.”
The Baal HaTurim explains that when a tzaddik utters a curse, it comes true—if only in part—even if the condition upon which it is stipulated is ultimately unfulfilled. So potent and powerful are Moshe’s words, that they cannot be completely disregarded. In some capacity they indeed come true, as Moshe’s name is stricken from Parshas Tetzaveh.
Yet it seems so unfair. Moshe Rabbeinu made the ultimate sacrifice—or was at least willing to make the ultimate sacrifice—for the Jewish People. Moshe aligned himself with the people, insisting that any remembrance of him be removed from the Torah if the People would be destroyed as punishment for their sins. The People are forgiven. Hashem hears Moshe’s plea. Why, then, should he be punished with the removal of his name from Parshas Tetzaveh?
In one of the most surprising interactions in the Torah, Leah tells off her sister Rachel when she makes a request of some flowers brought home by Leah’s son, Reuven. Rachel asks if Leah could possibly spare a few, and Leah responds, “המעט קחתך את אישי—Is it not enough that you’ve taken my husband?” Leah is indignant, how could Rachel be so bold as to ask for anything further from her, having already stolen her husband Yaakov’s heart and distracting him from giving Leah his undivided attention?
Of course, that’s all backwards. It was Rachel who Yaakov was originally supposed to marry. Rachel whose hand he had worked for for seven long years. Leah came into the picture only through the trickery and deception of her father, Lavan. How could Leah possibly launch such an accusation at her sister?
Rav Shalom Schwadron explains that Rachel had arranged things in such a way so as to never allow Leah to realize that Yaakov was not hers by right. As far as Leah knew, Yaakov had married her first, and Rachel only came along later on. From Leah’s perspective, Rachel was nothing more than an interloper. And Rachel wanted it this way. Rachel was sincere in her desire to protect her sister from the anguish of feeling like a runner-up. Every step she took and every word she uttered to her sister gave the impression that Yaakov more rightly “belonged” to Leah than to herself. When Leah was unnerved by Rachel’s request to now be given some of Reuven’s flowers, Leah was only responding in the manner that Rachel had herself directed.
Perhaps a similar situation unfolds here with Moshe Rabbeinu. Why does Moshe stick his neck out for the Jewish People as he does, suggesting that if the Jewish People are wiped off the map, then his name should be wiped clean from the Torah? Moshe was saying that his identity was bound up with the Jewish People. He had dedicated his entire life to bridging the gap between the Jewish People and Hashem, serving as Hashem’s ambassador to Pharaoh, leading the People out of Egypt, delivering them the Torah from Har Sinai, and instructing the people in its ways. Moshe was saying to Hashem, “It’s all about the People, it’s not about me.”
And Hashem takes Moshe at his word. As the final commandments are issued that will make the Mishkan complete, that will allow the nation to build a vehicle allowing Hashem’s Presence to reside in their midst, Moshe is removed from the narrative. Why? Because as Moshe himself has said, it’s about the People, not about him.
How do we respond when we’re taken advantage of? When guests overstay their welcome, when people make excessive claims on our time, when neighbors or friends ask for unreasonable favors? We probably respond with indignation. “Where do they get off?!”
But it’s worth looking at things from a different perspective. Perhaps they’re just taking us at our word. Perhaps all those times we’ve said, “Don’t mention it,” “No problem,” and especially, “Any time,” coupled with a pleasant demeanor and a genuine smile, we’ve actually succeeded in conveying to others that they should feel comfortable enough to make some outrageous asks.
Major requests or favors may leave us feeling we’re being taken advantage of. To be sure, not every request can be filled given our limited time and resources. But before getting too annoyed, pause for a moment and consider where the request is coming from. If you’ve previously responded to someone’s thanks with a sincere “My pleasure,” they may just be taking you at your word. Perhaps you’ve become someone who people view as seeing kindness and generosity as pleasurable. Don’t be too upset. Give yourself a pat on the back instead.