Parshas Bo 5781
A deal can fall apart at the negotiating table for any number of reasons. The buyer may undervalue; the seller may overvalue. Though hese differences can sometimes be ironed out, the death knell in any negotiation is the suspicion that one side is not acting in good faith. You cannot come to legitimate terms with a person you suspect of illegitimacy.
וַיֹּאמֶר מֹשֶׁה בִּנְעָרֵינוּ וּבִזְקֵנֵינוּ נֵלֵךְ בְּבָנֵינוּ וּבִבְנוֹתֵנוּ בְּצֹאנֵנוּ וּבִבְקָרֵנוּ נֵלֵךְ כִּי חַג־ה׳ לָנוּ׃ וַיֹּאמֶר אֲלֵהֶם יְהִי כֵן ה׳ עִמָּכֶם כַּאֲשֶׁר אֲשַׁלַּח אֶתְכֶם וְאֶת־טַפְּכֶם רְאוּ כִּי רָעָה נֶגֶד פְּנֵיכֶם׃
שמות י:ט–י
And Moshe said, “We will go, with our young and our old, with our sons and our daughters, our flocks and our herds; for it is a festival of G-d for us.” But [Pharaoh] said to them, “G-d will indeed be with you if I will send you out as well as your children. See that there is evil before you!”
Shemos 10:9-10
The negotiations hit a brick wall with Pharaoh’s sense that Moshe is not acting in good faith. What can possibly be the need to bring children along on this pilgrimage? Clearly, Pharaoh insists, Moshe is trying to pull the wool over his eyes, opening the door for the nation as a whole to flee Egypt for good.
What, exactly, is the underlying cause of this breakdown in trust? We might see in the dialogue between them that a chasm exists between Moshe’s and Pharaoh’s views on how best to prepare a nation for the future. For Pharaoh, it is the adults who will offer sacrifices; let them leave and have the children stay. For Moshe, the need for children be present for a national celebration is critical to their ability to one day bear the mantle of leadership. If the children are absent, the nation’s future will be left in doubt.
But why would Pharaoh have had such a hard time understanding such a request? Surely he could appreciate the need to mentor the next generation in the ways of the responsibilities that would one day be theirs. Why was the inclusion of children prove a deal-breaker for Pharaoh?
I would argue that the breakdown between Moshe and Pharaoh was less about concerns of the future than it was considerations for the present. Perhaps what was so striking about Moshe’s request for the children to come along into the wilderness is that their participation seemed no different to him than that of their parents. Indeed, he speaks of both elders and youngsters in the same breath. Moshe was advocating not for children to learn the sacrificial rites merely to be better prepared for the future. He considered the children’s involvement critical even for the here and now of this holiday itself. For Pharaoh, this was too much to bear.
The Hebrew term we use more than any to describe the process of educating children is חינוך—Chinuch. Related to the word “Chanukah,” it is a term that would perhaps more accurately be translated as “dedication” than “education.” This is a point well worth our consideration. A Chanukah is not for practice; it is not mere training for the future. The dedication of the Mishkan was not a practice round to determine whether or not the Jewish People could properly perform the avodah before it counted “for real”. A Chanukas HaBayis does not declare that a family’s new house is a training ground to see how they fare at running a Jewish home before it actually “counts.” A Chanukah is not a test drive or a warmup. It’s the real deal. It is, as Rashi describes in Parshas Lech Lecha:
וְהוּא לְשׁוֹן הַתְחָלַת כְּנִיסַת הָאָדָם אוֹ כְלִי לָאֻמָּנוּת שֶׁהוּא עָתִיד לַעֲמֹד בָּהּ, וְכֵן חֲנֹךְ לַנַּעַר (משלי כ”ב), חֲנֻכַּת הַמִּזְבֵּחַ (במד’ ז’), חֲנֻכַּת הַבַּיִת
רש׳׳י בראשית יד:יד
It is an expression of beginning to induct a person or instrument into a craft that it will continue to maintain in the future. Just as, “Educate (חנוך) a child,” “Dedicating the altar,” and “Dedicating the Temple.”
Rashi to Bereishis 14:14
Chinuch, too, is not mere training. It is a dedication. It’s the statement that we want our children to participate in Torah, Mitzvos, and the full sweep of Jewish life, and that their deeds are meaningful not only insofar as they pave the way for the future, but right now, in the present. True, the time before a child becomes a Bar or Bas Mitzvah is a grace period to accommodate for certain shortcomings inherent in young children that will not permit fully comprehensive observance. But their observance even in advance of that milestone has great inherent meaning, even apart from serving as a portent for the future.
This represents a critical mental pivot. Thinking about our children’s future is what parents do and is what they should do. But thinking exclusively about their future can serve to devalue their present. If singularly focused on the future, we can shortchange them on opportunities that exist right now: “They’re not yet obligated to—fill in the blank—and they’ll develop those habits later.”
But at its core, chinch is not just about educating for the future, it is about dedicating our children towards a lifestyle that is meaningful even in the present. A child who davens has connected to Hashem today. A child who learns Torah is imbibing the Divine word right now. A child who develops better middos will not only a better person in the future, but has become a better person today.
Being preoccupied with our children’s future can warp the manner in which we shape their present. We can miss out on providing them with opportunities of inherent value because in the grand scheme of their future lives, they’re not critical to get them over whatever finish line we hold in our mind’s eye. Moshe Rabbeinu demanded that children be valued not only for their future contributions, but their present ones. We must always remind ourselves to do the same.